Being an Open Book

I intend on covering a spread of topics on this blog, some are fun and light such as my writing or the fact I’m an utter noob at anything beauty or health related so my trials on those fronts are far more amusing as I stumble through them at 30ish. But when it comes to my mental health it is anything but light.

A large part of my journey so far and my continued journey involves understanding myself and why I am. Something I have never been good at is being open with anyone else about what I’m feeling, what I’m insecure about and voicing what is important to me. Even with my besties I struggle with being completely honest and open. I’m getting better, but it’s a journey not a hurdle.

This blog is a step in that direction, it’s a place for me to be completely honest about what the fuck goes on in my brain, and why my brain is the way it is. Yes, some if it is just the way I’m made, such as my ADHD and possibly my long standing depression, but a large part of it has to do with how I was raised and things that happened to me. I say that as a precursor…

I will be brutally honest about things here. my childhood wasn’t perfect, and I will be discussing things over time that will shine a harsh light on that. Some of it is directly related to my family and it is not sunshine and flowers.

As I discuss the lowpoints please do not think I hate my family or I am bitter towards them for their faults, God knows I have many of my own. For all their faults they have their strengths and have blessed me is huge ways as well. Part of my journey is realizing that no one is perfect, and everyone falls short in some way. The more I understand about a persons faults the more understanding I can be towards them. As for me it also means I can better understand how it affected and shaped the woman I am today so hopefully one day I can have a healthier mind that doesn’t let me stray to far from my prison and grow much healthier and fulfilling relationships.

Not going to lie, being honest and open is not easy for me, that’s probably why next to no one knows about this blog as of writing this. Regardless I do hope what I talk about helps someone, even if it’s just me. One day I’ll tell more about it, one day I’ll have grown enough to let more people in a little further, but this is a journey I’m still on.